For those who treat me as a friend, for those who read me, and for those who cares, grab my hand and together let us see the world and —-
Lol I just moved out. For many, it’s “Bye August and Hello September” but for me, it’s “Bye Forexampaul and Hello TPZ!”
Follow me here.
I could come back here from time to time. So I won’t delete this account. You see, only people who really go through here could know that I’ve transferred into a new account. So, I’ll expect you there!
I know I do long text posts most of the time, but this is different because this is longer than my usual ‘long’, and probably the longest. AND THIS IS THE LAST! BECAUSE, WELL, I’M LEAVING THIS ACCOUNT SOON.
(I wrote all this two weeks ago…)
A glass of cold water, then I’m good. I believed I was ready for bed. I prepared myself for this night of just typing – well, not really. I pushed on my phone to allow it to show me the time, so I could type in what time I started typing in and what time I would end. You know, the typical blogging setup. I don’t know, maybe it was just me. What was it for, by the way? To know how much time I actually spent on finishing a post? I could ask for more rhetorical hits but I couldn’t gather anything else anymore. To make it simple, let’s just not dwell on time. Just let me burst everything out, and let’s see how long we can arrive at this setting.
Honestly, I cannot think of the last time I vomited words into letters. Like, seriously, when was the last time I wrote something just for myself? Not for everybody else. And by everybody else I’m talking about the school requirements, and those blog posts included. On a more sincere note, I hate to confess that part of me when I create a new post was always conscious of how people who, I expect, constantly go through my blog would react, not to mention the hope I’m hooking on that eventually some more would stumble upon my writing and there, what am I even saying now? But I know I shouldn’t worry as I have self-agreed that I would still edit this by the time I’m ready to post this. Oh yes, I am typing right now for the sake of my blog being updated.
Now, I’m hitting that topic my mind has been keeping off since the last week. Why do I have so much things to yearn for (I’m talking about my blog, okay)? I totally make things complicated because I never get contented. So here’s what’s going on inside me just so anyone can relate and not be dumbfounded with my self-talks.
Do I actually even call myself a blogger, or a writer, in the most fundamental sense? Some principled dudes who have their own standard could tell me what I am, but I should know better. It’s always had been easy for us to play with the suffix –er, I think. You dance, you’re a dancer. You paint, you’re a painter. I write, then I’m a writer. I shit, I am a shitter. It makes all the sense in the world, don’t you think? But then what’s keeping me from writing is all that inhibitions which right now I’m realizing are just from my overly active preemptions and analysis of things. But I work this way, I know. And here’s what I do know. I have my blog which had been running for more than a year now. I was active for a whole year, dropping tons of not-so-thought-of blabbering from time to time. Okay, confession: I kind of doubted myself while typing “not-so-thought-of” because apparently, when you’re enjoying blog-posting with the anonymity slashed off, you’d think of how you’ll appear virtually. Then what really is my problem now? I had gone very inactive lately, trying to think if leaving is the best option. Well then, let me present with the options I considered and pretend that these interest anybody.
First, I thought of just deleting my account – but I truly know personally, no matter how hard I try to convince myself I can – that I couldn’t ever have the guts to delete something like this. I chose to grow up this way, being sentimental about the littlest of things. But hey, this is no little thing. This tumblr account had been my refuge when I needed one, and it carries a lot of memories, most – if not all – of which have surpassed the level of my standard at the things which must be kept immortalized. Though of course, nothing can really be immortalized totally. But while I was posting there back then, my main goal was to immortalize the memories, so does that cancel my beliefs? Okay, I got it. Just now, actually. I was writing for the sole purpose of making the memories last, by making them tangible (could they really be tangible?) through relayed stories published online. And that’s the reason I’m sick of this blog, because it just bears a lot of personal load that when I googled my username (I really did), it just made me want to throw up. There, a whole google search page showed me like an archive of my different posts, randomly selected from different time I posted them, and when I tried to instruct myself to act as if I was a stranger and it was my first time to know about forexampaul and tried reading random works (most of which were tagalong, half of which were long texts full of dramas and rants I’ve posted directly without editing and filtering, the other half were corny trashes or whatevers that were partly posted to gain likes and notes), again, they make me want to puke.
I won’t throw up because I despise myself for this. Well, perhaps a bit but – No! Of course I wouldn’t hate them because I know I was me when I created them. Okay, the ‘me’ of the many months ago. But I sure know that points to the bottom line; they’re history for me. They’re like bits of my past that I want to be remembered and that I want to recall when I would have the time to do so. They disgust me at some point, yes, but the problem here is I do not have the guts to permanently delete them.
Leave the account, create a new one. That’s the heaviest choice I could think of. But leaving it would mean leaving the memories. But why am I so frigging concerned of the memories? I now start to disgust myself because I feel like I’m such a crybaby over what? Over a blog account which doesn’t even cost a fortune? Yeah, well, right now I’m stealing time for sleep over this matter which wouldn’t actually help me to become a better person. Well, indirectly it could, as a matter of fact. But hey I’m digressing too much. You know what’s hard, the mind works way way way faster than my hands do, and so my thoughts come simultaneously and then they clutter up at the doors of my brain then push themselves trying to get out and the next thing I know, some had already fallen out of the line.
And so let’s just make this quick and simple. Like I said, I still will have the time to edit.
I can’t delete this because there’s just too memories it holds. But I want to delete it because of the posts itself, because I think I gave away too much of my personality, of my life. There! I said it. I was seeing this blog as a more-than-open book of my life and thoughts. I did not just open my life to public, I even photocopied the pages and distributed and then saved some for future references that I know would just be laughter-inducing chats. Bright idea came in, just a few seconds ago: Why don’t I go private so it’s only myself, and the people who would know the password, could see through it. But my mind is quick to rebut. Few days ago I decided to turn my current blog into a new blog. I mean, it would make things simple as compared to the need to create a new blog account, probably on a new platform like blogspot or wordpress. That’s creating a new life, a new path. And right now, I don’t think I really have to start fresh and raw, especially that I still have the choice not to. But what if I really have to start fresh and new? Let me think… I went to tumblr unexpectedly just to communicate to people I know, and then I lasted because I met a lot of different people along the way. It’s socializing, still. That’s why I wanted to stay as forexampaul. I wanted to still have the identity I installed in forexampaul, because I have to admit, the whole of that identity was truth. And I didn’t want to create another, or duplicate this current one. I just want to be organized but why is life giving me such a hard time?!
Fine, I know it’s me who’s giving me a hard time. I also resorted to just quit blogging and just stay on my silent writing. You know, just MS Word and me. Private life. That doesn’t interest the damn in me anymore, sorry. God knows I didn’t ever want to live in private. I just realize I don’t find the fun in being reclusive. I mean, if I’m going to stay in solidarity, then what’s it going to do to me? I look at the perks I’ll get when I’ll go out there and publish my work on the internet. Aside from using the technology our ancestors had given us relatively freely, well, I quite agreed on a reading which said that teens of this age write more than teens of older years had done. And the reason with that? A lot had been into online sites, posting blogs, updating statuses, which sure are forms of writing. In those ways we know someone out there could read our work, unlike when it’s only the profs in our writings that we satisfy. But going back to reality … I believe it shall be a better avenue to hone my writing. Oh yes, I won’t be hypocritical about this. I am claiming myself that I’m a writer – and a blogger, even – because I write – and I blog.
So, does that make things settled, then? Of course not. I haven’t even arrived at an articulate decision yet. Delete account? For sure, it’s a no. Create another account? Well, I’m putting second thoughts on this. I could direct people to my new blog, after all. I could post on forexampaul saying I have moved to this and that. Like who cares, right? But who cares if nobody cares? And who cares if anybody cares that nobody cares?
What if, I make that previous idea happen. I stop on updating forexampaul, post that I have moved to a different door, and invite people to go and visit me there. At least, I’ll know who really comes and reads me. But wait, that doesn’t cater my first need! I still need to get rid of the disgust I’m having toward my original blog. If I set it on private, I wouldn’t be able to tell people I’ve moved out. But if I set it as it is, just no updates, then it’s still my open book of life, free for all to read. Some may suggest I better just scan through them and delete the disgusting ones, but hey they’re almost two thousands – wait, there’s only that few so maybe I could. But I’m too lazy to even keep up the blog, how do you expect me to scan a thousand of posts? Maybe I could edit them massively, set a great deal of posts on private or what.
I think someone must kill me now. Okay, I’ll really try to make things final in this paragraph. I’m not going to delete the account. Abandoning it would be the best temporary idea. In any way, I think I am the only one who damn cares about what other people would get on reading my prehistoric entries there. And I had come to realize that I am just literally a few clicks away from deleting it just in case something messes up and I just really get a valid reason to cover myself up, or at least set it in private. About my new blog, I think I’m half and a quarter decided that I’d go leave and create. Right now, I’m thinking of creating a blurry sense of anonymity. I mean, I won’t hide myself. But I won’t give away too much, I won’t share too much personal shits, but I’ll be myself. Because that’s the best decision to do, always: be me. Wow, I’m imagining quite a few things now. Only the people who knew me by forexampaul would be able to follow me on this new one. And then I would gain more friends, whereupon they would know me by the present me. And by time, the past shall be buried and maybe I would be ready to let go. I knew it would be easy in the future. So there. Create a new blog, a sort of new identity, abandon old blog. (I accept that I kind of suck right now, that I act as if that blog really had built some attachment in me. It did, in the most honest way. But I just think I’m looking extra-pathetic because I’m revealing another weak point in me. But okay, the world has to get with it. It’s just freaking hard for me to let go. And I don’t think of it as a weakness. Perhaps, unhealthy, in some ways, but no worries, I’ll get over this, like maybe later. End of argument.)
To clarify, well I sort of figured out why I care so much about this like it’s the most important issue in the world right now. I guess I had undergone a series of maturity tests from the time that had passed in my recent life. And, I can tell, I have matured enough to know that I have been so immature in all the past posts in that old blog. It had been my diary, my journal, my scrapbook, my all, without thinking they all could be revealing heavy fractions of my personality that I didn’t know – because we could all have that part in us that we have yet to unearth. I think I’m not making so much sense but one thing’s for sure: One day, I’ll disgust this very post, as well. Because you know, maturity goes into a level up after some time, doesn’t it?
And as for my new blog … Well, I don’t think I really have to go and rest yet (though I’ve seen myself in the mirror minutes ago and my eyes were comparable to that of a panda’s), I know no one would mind if I’d pour on some more random words about this new agenda.
I want it to be as minimal as possible. Weeks ago I wanted it to be just some pure text blog. But I realize now that I shouldn’t. I long have realized that my writing talent would be a puppy compared to the dragons a lot of text bloggers have. And so, I’m deciding to make it a blog of inspiration. Dang. That sounded so cheesy so delete that. I wouldn’t want to call it a ‘blog about me’ because I know eventually it would just lure me to channel my rants about the world and everything will follow through. I never really took a long run of lectures on journalism, creative writing, literature, and more likes. That might decrease jottings of credibility in my structuring of words, but that does not in any way affect the wits and insights I’m ready to deliver, and that does not especially diminish my strength in bridging out my opinions and stories.
I’ve undergone a seminar for time management weeks ago and there was that one workshop that struck me the most. We were tasked to write five activities that we individually most of the time do, and through various categories we were told to score it, 5 being the highest. We were asked to sum all the scores up. Just a side note, studying got the awfully lowest score in my list, and that’s the most honest result. My top 1 activity was actually two, because I got a tie. I’m not so sure if I should say the other (because right now, it’s just a secret between me and myself) – okay I won’t tell, just for my own selfish sake – but the other was, obviously, you could guess, writing.
And with that, I presume I could induce a decision. I want my new blog to not be “an avenue of my expressed thoughts”, as I had described my old blog, but a fresh and clean thoroughfare to actually hone myself in writing. You know, I think I could actually post essays there, and publish my opinions and all. I noticed I rant on twitter a lot, and then maybe I could turn those micro-blogs into more useful pieces of lines and paragraphs. For a better world? No, not necessarily. It is, I think, for a better me.
This is just a sudden thought: isn’t that what I’m doing recently on forexampaul? And then I checked, yeah I remember, that for months, I had shifted from a type-then-post blogger into the one which gathers the idea first, then thinks if they should be posted or not, edit, make the sense better, make it visually better, make it worth-reading, then post. It can be tedious, but at least I can say I’m not dumping shitloads on the internet. But then, what I want to improve is the way how I write. I want to be myself now. No more precarious editing. Like what I usually do. I wouldn’t be too self-conscious if I wasn’t idolizing other bloggers. Idolizing is actually helpful. But it sometimes makes me want to change myself, at which points where I almost find myself imitating styles and ways. I want my old writing, only improved and less immature. I want my own writing. I want to bridge ideas from inside me, not the process of bridging ideas to impress people so they would like me. I want more insights. I want to impart something – if not inspiration or knowledge – to those who would waste minutes to read me. No, no. I don’t intend to be famous for anything, really. I just want the same treatment that I give to those writers whose blogs I constantly read. I just find the feeling of learning after reading, enigmatic. I find it critical and yet so easy to achieve. I want to get people to sigh in agreement because they just got that hiding message behind my words. Oh, do I really plan to hide messages? That’s so dreamy of me. But yeah, let’s just see what works for me. I don’t ever want to plan a lot anymore because I’m afraid I just keep on failing, but it’s good that I have the base now. I can finally start building the walls.
The thoughts I’ve sapped out right now sure is less than a quarter of what’s really inside me. But I guess I’ve drained out those that are ready to be processed. Yes, there are thoughts that don’t just come out readily – you know you have it inside you, yet it just keeps holding on in the walls of your brain.
Maybe I also wanted to be general in my point of view. I don’t want my life to be the center of my new blog. I want to impart learning – please do not ever discourage me because right now I’m actually believing that I could provide people with wisdom. My vocabulary is limited, I hold no expertise at writing, but I hold buckets of ideas that I am more than ready to share. I hope fate and time cooperates.
So, well, since I know this long post shall go on a brief editing, I can just end it here. I’m sure I will have to spend an eternity thinking of a new username for my new blog.
Twenty four - Is there anything you’re hiding from someone?
I hide my age to every stranger I meet.
Twenty five - Who are you thinking of right now?
Right now? Uh, must be Claudine Barretto, because the tv’s on and she’s back on drama and I can’t help but reminisce her old naia memory
Forty seven – Who’s 3 of your best girl friends?
Friends na girl, ‘di ba? That must be Cris Diane, Ann Lois, and Ria Suing.
Five - What’s your brother(s)/sister(s)names?
They’re Gilbert Jonas and John Arnold. I call them Kuya Jonas and Kuya John. And well, I’ve got a sister, too. She’s Jona Emmanuelle. I call her Ate Jona.
Twenty - Who do you trust 100% right now?
I don’t say I have issues withe trust, however minimal they could be, but hey I don’t really give a hundred percent trust on anyone. Let’s just say it’s God, for the sake of answering the question.
Thirt Four - Hello Kitty or Dora?
I would have to go for Dora. Dora existed in the midst of my childhood, while Hello Kitty never really made a scene in my life. Dora has established a much stronger connection to the audience, and has definitely a personality, while Hello Kitty, for all I know, was just a cute kitten with a ribbon.
I really would have to go for Dora. Well, she could take care of Hello Kitty, anyway. What.
Eleven - What’s stopping you from going for the person you like?
If I’d go, it would be totally useless for right now, I don’t yearn for any responsibility, commitment, or any abstract anything. Not now, that I still haven’t really found myself, and I’m still unsure on how to make things work, and on how to be better.
Fourteen - What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
I just think about the next day. (Probably why I can’t sleep most of the time)
- Zero - Who was your last text from?
- One - What/who is your icon?
- Two- Your relationship status?
- Three - Have you ever lost a close friend?
- Four - What is your current mood?
- Five - What’s your brother(s)/sister(s)names?
- Six - Where do you wish you were right now?
- Seven - Have a crazy side?
- Eight - Ever had a near death experience?
- Nine- Something you do a lot?
- Ten - Angry at anyone?
- Eleven - What’s stopping you from going for the person you like ?
- Twelve - When was the last time you cried?
- Thirteen- What are you really good at ?
- Fourteen - What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
- Fifteen- What were you doing yesterday at 10pm?
- Sixteen - Do you prefer light or dark hair on the opposite sex ?
- Seventeen - Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- Eighteen - What is/are your favorite band(s)? .
- Nineteen - What are you doing right now?
- Twenty - Who do you trust 100% right now?
- Twenty one - Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
- Twenty two - Heavy metal music?
- Twenty three- Who Was the last person you hugged.
- Twenty four- Is there anything you’re hiding from someone?
- Twenty five - Who are you thinking of right now?
- Twenty six - What should you be doing right now?
- Twenty seven - What are you listening to?
- Twenty eight - You need new jeans. Quick where do you go?
- Twenty nine - Who was the last person who yelled at you?
- Thirty - Do you act differently around the person you like?
- Thirty one - What is your eye colour?
- Thirty two - Who was the last person to make you laugh?
- Thirty three - Who was the last person to make you angry?
- Thirty four - Hello Kitty or dora?
- Thirty five - Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
- Thirty six - Hug anyone of opposite sex in past 24 hours?
- Thirty seven - One thing you want right now?
- Thirty eight - Will you fall in love in the next few months?
- Thirty nine - What does the 5th text in your inbox say?
- Forty - Are you worried about the future?
- Forty one - Are you happy with life right now?
- Forty two - Are you currently jealous?
- Forty three – Who's your best guy friend?
- Forty four -Do you forgive or forget? yep!
- Forty five - What do you miss the most about elementary school?
- Forty six - Favorite Disney Channel show ?
- Forty seven – Who’s 3 of your best girl friends?
- Forty Eight - What are you looking forward to?
- Forty nine - Does anyone like you right now?
- Fifty- Lyrics to the song you’re listening to?
- Me: Ma, mukha ba talaga akong masungit at suplado?
- Ma: Bakit naman?
- Me: Ang daming nagsasabi eh.
- Ma: Eh nakasimangot ka kasi parati. Oo, mukha kang masungit.
- Me: Mana lang ako sa 'yo.
- Ma: Aba! Ikaw lang kaya.
- Me: Oo kaya! Sabi rin Ate Jona (gf ni kuya) eh.
- Ma: Ha? Bakit naman? Kailan niya sinabi?
- Me: Na-meet mo siya nung graduation nila 'di ba? Natakot daw siya sa 'yo.
- Ma: Dapat lang ano! *smiles*
- Me: Hala ka.
- Ma: Ay, alam mo 'yun si Jona, natatandaan ko pawis na pawis 'yun nung araw na 'yun kasi ang init. Tapos alam mo ginawa? Tumalikod muna siya tapos tinakpan siya ng kuya mo tapos nag-punas ng mukha. Hehe.
- Me: Ay, oo.
- Ma: As in yung toga yung pinang-punas niyang ganito oh. *re-enacts* Nakakatuwa talaga 'yun.
- Me: Haha ang kulit mo, ma!
Last night was plain. I was my typical student self when I half-sincerely wished for a worse weather just for the much-hoped suspension of classes.
Raindrops woke me up earlier today. They never really were music to the ears, but as I checked on my messages, and reading ten or so which disseminated the announcement that could induce a smile from a normal student, I did what you call was more than a happy smile. I even bothered to type a few words, sending them to people who I knew could relate to my being blissful about the suspension.
At 5 AM, I hurriedly went online, thinking this is a good day, and deciding to just spend the rest of the day on a carefree way. I switched the television on. Sorry, but I am not truly the type who spends time on news, unless it concerns me. But today, it does concern me.
I felt it like a slap to my face, seeing the condition getting worse and worse. Hour after hour, more video coverage and photos kept on coming to the screen, only to enlarge the growing bit of guilt and fright I was having. You want this, right? Or do I, really?
I was quick to defend myself. My wish for the heavies rain never had anything to do with this striking condition that the whole of the metro is currently having. And it was too hypocritical of them to preach about what to wish for and what to not. Just for the record, I had my own experiences, my own trauma about the rain, but to which I’m sure has no match compared to what majority of the people right now has to face. I can only pray for them. Ironically, it’s the same means I (and perhaps, let me include all the other typical students who also wished for the same thing) did the last night.
The tv and twitter is still on, both my sources of updates. I have to commend the improvement the government and the media has achieved in various aspects. I also have to acknowledge the people doing coverage; field reporters, cameramen, and all the others who chose to lay themselves in work for pure public service. Bless all the people who makes themselves ready to rescue and save lives of others. This is no time for nonsensical blames, not to mention the hideous claims that this is God’s wrath over the RH bill. Come on, people. Better while your time away on praying than spitting wastes of words.
Maybe I was too brave to hope for this, because I now live in an elevated part of the city. From the moment I woke up, I left my earphones on, burying my mind to music, trying to fool my ears about the loud thuds by the rain on the roof. Now, the clouds had taken their rest. I do hope this gets better. And now, that’s a whole of my heart wishing, sincerely and absolutely with all honesty.
And while I write this, I glanced at the calendar by the door and see that we’re still on the early days of August. That simple facts gets the creep in me. I do not ever want to imagine what’s going to happen by the late week of September, which I have accurately remember as the peak of typhoons in each of the year that has passed.
Sundays are high school dates
It was not really that sort of planned meet-ups. We just make it a point to be together for the last evening mass every week. After, we head to convenience stores or fast food chains, not wanting to fill our not-really empty stomachs, but to just find ourselves a place for small talks and to freeze time just to catch up.
But I know, no one could freeze time. I no longer see them so often - enough reason for me to anticipate Sundays. And you know, in my boring life, I just could not know how awkward it is like to rekindle old ties. So as much as possible, I do my best to keep any bond tight, so as not to worry about the knots losing. And I believe it’s best to strengthen the ropes if you see them face to face, from time to time.
You will never know how awful it is to weaken the once-so-strong friendships unless you would not pay a try. And I’m guessing anyone would not want that.
HINDI ORAS ANG KULANG, KUNDI EFFORT.
Know that even if I almost never update my blogs, even if I personally forget when was the last time I checked on the dash, and even if time passes here and I’m left stagnant just like that, I am and will be always here.
For now, I got myself never-ending lists of things I want with my life. I stay focus and put myself on hard work towards studies for a while, unlike what I’ve done with the past two semesters. Hopefully, I could also start up the business I and my good old friends have been planning since summer. I’m also into more college duties. Add to that my aim to be more goal-oriented, and my personal want to improve my social relationships.
For this blog, I also have lists of ideas to process. I want a clean start. For many times I’ve thought of deleting this and start another. Fresh and bold. But I just can’t let go of the catchy memories; both good and disgusting. I desire a new me. I want to hone my talent in this. I don’t want to randomly type words just to construct good-sounding sentences. I want real quality blogs. I want it to be simple. I want long thought-of posts where lessons can really be picked from, and ideas cluttering up together. I want to make stories. Or even drabbles. I want to write the way I must, not because I want to show off, but because of the mere fact that I have learned things and I need to apply it. In that way, I can share my thoughts. Bridge them in ways people won’t imagine.
I want compilations of my works on a single blog where readers could come by often and not get confused at all the mess of my diary-ish posts. Yes, I want to quit my habit of over-sharing my life. I have Twitter to do that. I want the real essence of a text blog.
I don’t think Tumblr’s the right avenue for all these ideas. Maybe I’ll just leave this account hanging. I’ll post some but I can’t promise when. Maybe I just had enough of this. I had friends, thank you for that. But I don’t really appreciate online friends. We all belong to one world. Let’s use it. Now what am I saying.
Now, about love, well that’s beyond my concern at the moment. ‘Til my next post!
July 13; second Friday the 13th of 2012
(Photo from the official FB fanpage of the show)
These five different teenagers proved their worth as they set their feet towards the last night of one of the highest-rater so-called reality shows on TV.
I personally thought that Joj and Jai, being such jolly twins right from the start, could really have made their way to this night. They were never nominated, constantly gaining one of the least votes per week. They were tagged as Melay-like twins, but I could not resist that these two girls had their own sense of personality. Big reason for the masa, and their co-housemates to love them.
Roy, I believed, did not have much tv exposures during the first few weeks. Being the only guy who named himself as someone who was from poverty, a lot expected another typical who’s-poor-shall-win story. He did not have much interesting life inside the house, but he was loved by his co-housemates for his genuine acts and his fatherly attributes.
Karen was one of the most controversial housemate. Her appeal to the audience went a roller-coaster ride. She gained a lot of supporters through her bubbly persona, but eventually she also gathered herself a relatively lot of haters when she exposed her flaws as a teen. But through the end I saw her attitude, the unique her, and that’s probably why her fans loved her.
I could say Myrtle had the most exposure through the entire show. Right from the start, I had the impression that she was the season’s favorite. Every night she had her portion. But this shot up the times she had some things to do with her co-housemate Yves. She had the perfect contrast of fans; had a strong fanbase, but also got battalions of haters.
The order I made in doing the paragraphs above about them was the same order their ranking last night was announced.
A lot were surprised as Joj and Jai landed fourth, including me. But I deem there were various factors to that. One, the twins’s fans’ strength were never tested, since they never were nominated. Two, the code for voting, for me, was not entirely helpful. It was BBS JOJ&JAI. Not JaiJoj, not JojJai. Nevertheless, the heartfelt and natural reaction as the two girls came out was the most genuine I’ve seen. Very lovable and true, these two girls are.
Roy was third. This wasn’t much of a big deal, he actually was lucky to have gotten himself there. There’s not a high possibility that the guy is going to make himself a spot in showbiz. But I was all the more grateful because he never used his poverty to set himself pleading for the win. A lot in twitter said that he, and the twins, were the most-deserving winners after all. Truly, Roy showed who he truly is.
Karen landed second. Overjoyed as she was, but I thought she quite expected to be the winner. She could have done it, too. However, her place as second didn’t actually matter because she has the potential of being a star. She was after all true to herself, amidst the flirting and the bitching. She was also one of the prettiest girls.
Myrtle was this season’s Big Winner. Her fans claimed this victory weeks ago, having trended the same prediction that she’s going to be the winner, from time to time on twitter. I have to take my hats off for their efforts. Myrtle was constantly gaining the highest votes whenever she was nominated; always getting landslide-victory. Just like last night. Right from the start of the night, it was predictable that she was the housemate who was having the highest percentage of saving votes, very far from the second highest. And when the evict votes were revealed, it was also easy to predict that she was also the highest. Combining all the text votes, she still got a relatively high percentage among all. Goes to show how her family, and fans, and supporters, worked their asses off to place their bet on top. But minutes from the announcement, #HindiKaDeservingMyrtle shot up into the trending list. Bitter fans? No, I think, more like “intellectual PBB fans.” I think, the reason why people got into an outrage for the results because they really couldn’t accept that this girl from Ilo-ilo, who got into twirling issues when she was inside the house, would be equally having the same crown that was perched into the heads of Kim Chiu, Slater Young, Nene Tamayo… People who really proved the show’s goal: to show who you truly are, no pretense.
But all these are just my opinions. I still congratulate these four lives that were changed. I seriously have nothing to do with the results, nor will it affect my life. But as a viewer, I must express my thoughts.
And just like how I ended last night on twitter, I’d just like to share my own point of view on all the rage and reactions. If you are a hater, go and hate the idol. If you are a fan, go and support the idol. But that doesn’t give you the license to preach what the haters must do, saying things about their attitude and such. However, yes, haters must really control their words, and stop acting like the idol they’re hating did anything directly towards them. Point is, people must limit themselves, their emotions, their words. This is just a show, I know, and this entire media influence was so powerful.
And to those hypocrites who kept on reacting about people who watches the show, get lost. Does watching the show makes anyone less of a person? And not watching it makes you people elite and classy? We didn’t mind whether you react on issues like RH Bill, or such. People have preferences. You think watching these shows are just mere wastes of time, and that not watching makes you look good? Think again. You think it’s disgusting for your timeline to be flooded with tweets, then sign out and sleep. I always believed that you shouldn’t hurt yourself from reacting to something not worth it.
I guess all my thoughts have been summed up. Sorry, Tumblr, and friends, for not updating here. Just been quite busy for the days. I promise to be back. Fresh. And stress-free.
- Seek His kingdom. I always remember that bible verse my third grade teacher taught us. Seek ye first thy kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Sometimes, we choose to look at the other things.
- Accept that we need Him in our life. And that’s when the search for the kingdom becomes sensible.
- Believe that He does not sleep. Know He’s always here and there.
I never planned this day to be awesome.
As a matter of fact, I left home late because I still had to find myself a temporary bag and to search fr things I thought would be necessary. That’s how unprepared I was.But I didn’t really need to be prepared, actually. I just had to be, well fine I give up, I really had to be prepared.
Rainfall was expected but I had no umbrella. I didn’t even have to say I got wet. Of all the things that should be running, why did it have to be my nose?
I had a lot to tell. The fact that my first two classes went to be free-cuts, I wonder what’s it like to be a prof who wouldn’t make an appearance on first days. The silent shame I get from Physics. The mysterious Math prof, well I’m still not sure if he’s really terror (as what I’ve heard) but he looked okay to me, though his surname Sinco sure is disturbing.
I’ll have a new day tomorrow. And I need a lot of sleep tonight. No one could best tell me “Good luck, you can d it!” than myself.
Was it a normal thing to experience distress during a college enrollment? If it was, then maybe I’d start to dislike the norm.
I wouldn’t want to spend the next minutes re-telling my very experience, because it is not a wise time spent if I reminisce the difficulties of those days. But what I do like is to recall the packs of learning I gathered when I was in it.
That could be the longest two days of my life. But we know I was exaggerating. June 07 and 08. UP has this subject enlistment system that’s done online, and I feel like I’ve always been lucky. It’s a fight for luck, anyway. This time, I had all my subjects enlisted, except for Physics.
I began to think Physics and I will never be friends, but I also started to realize that I was still blessed to only lack one subject, unlike others who barely got their chances. And so early the first day I started the trek. The wishful trek. I took a path and designed it to be easy, stress-free. The first half of the day, I spent with great carefree attitude. I went to a lot of resting time, though I don’t really need them. And so when it rained, and afternoon had landed, I knew I was going to have a hard time.
It was storming; no not outside, but inside my mind. I was cursing every bit of the world. Why? Because I’ve spent four hours in a line that’s slower than a snail’s pace. Not even sure if it was meant to move. I was cursing every second that ticked. I was drowning with evil thoughts. How bad I’ve become, with just a single day, and just those few hours.
But I knew I’d just like to vent out my stress. But then I learned that it’s not always being below the roof. There are quite some stints where I proved that I can still feel blessed, if only I decide to be.
The first day was a mess, I have to say. But I still looked good. I still went home safe. And right there, I decided, I could not make the next day worse.
So as expected, a new challenge came. A test of character. A test of patience. But I thank myself that I carried the situation quite well, and I’ve worked out my attitude to turn the page up side down. It was easy, I just had to look at things from the positive view point. And there, the day went out to be just for a good cause. Eventually, I realized I was not really into much hardship.
And with my way home I felt my body ache. But do I have to think about that now that I’m just a step closer to being enrolled? Oh yes, I’ll come back tomorrow for the payment. But I need not to say the system’s messed up, or that there were people who annoyed me like there’s no tomorrow, because I’m choosing to stay looking at the optimistic point. I can slap these 17 units I have in my hand to anyone who’s going to mess my way with unspeakable barriers possible.
Now, what am I saying here.
Winners are positive thinkers who see the good in all things. From the ordinary, they make the extraordinary. They believe in the path they have chosen even when it’s hard, and even when others cannot see where they are going.
Winners are patient. They know a goal is as worthy as the effort that is required to achieve it.
You are a winner! We are all winners! Let us make this world a better place to live!
Of course, we’re not really out for fishing. We just thought of spending the sunset out there in the middle of the water. And since our island hopping at Quatro Islas was cancelled, we thought of something better to do.
There was really no renting shop for boats, but since we’re charming and appealing, we got to rent one from an old fisherman. The small boat had a long crack on the side so we had to balance ourselves carefully so the water wouldn’t rush in, and then there’s Biboy to scoop out the water from time to time. It was an adventure to cherish, definitely.
Then, on my last day of my stay we all decided to wake up early just to spend the dawn at the sea together once more. Biboy even slept at our place just so we could go up together. It was a hot sunrise, but I couldn’t help but just treasure the moments with these two whom I’ve known just for a month yet I felt like I’m already treating them like brothers.
That last photo above was a live jellyfish. Kuya Francis spent half an hour by the pier side catching a sea urchin under water which he wanted to give me as a remembrance, but he never did and instead, we found this big transparent creature.
I will never forget these adventures and heaven knows how much I want to repeat them.
I’ve always dreamed of building my own private resort someday, and this visit just made me much inspired.
Great place, great view, and great facilities! I’ll be back there at Baybayon Ni Agalon!
We could forget about the journey, but with all the things we see as we go driving down the roads… Man, we could always remember that things, however little they were, could always remind us how great it is to live.
For the first time in a long time, I’ll be posting this live and un-queued. Well, I’d just say that in less than an hour, for the first time in my life, I’ll be inside a passenger bus and will embark on my journey back to Manila. That would go for about twenty-eight hours of land travel from here (Leyte) to Pasay City. I’m half excited as a matter of fact.
I’ve been here for more than a month and I cannot say I’ve made my time much worthwhile for the reason that I still have a lot more plans. But I cannot say that I’ve not enjoyed much either. I am just contented right now, and I wish I would like to believe that I’m really ready to leave.
Well then, see you, Manila!
Just when I thought this day’s going to be plain, here comes the nice opportunity to experience sailing through the ocean. Well, we just actually rented a small banana boat, but I preferred the term “sailing”.
I didn’t think of bringing my camera with me, but it was so excellent that my phone didn’t go empty so we had these few shots.
This was no ordinary sunset because I got to watch it while I was in the middle of the sea.
Will do it again the next day because I can already see myself missing these views once I get back to Manila…
With just 45 pesos, we got to have a back-and-forth ticket to one of the 7, 000 plus island in the archipelago. And in just 5 minutes, our feet were already touching the bora-like white sand (though I’ve never been to bora). Now enough with the digits…
It was one hell of an adventure again with these two. And I should also mention that this late afternoon was on the same day we hiked around Maasin City and climbed up the mountains. Yes, we pushed on the limits of our bodies.
Like the day we want to Gunhuban Falls, we were on ourselves when we got to Canigao. Papa, Tito Jof and Tita Carly chose to stay in our Tito Joy’s resort by the bay of Matalom, Leyte. But it didn’t matter, because we want it better if we’re free from their eyes, anyway.
The only problem is the picture-taking. But what’s the self-timer feature for if we’re not going to use it then?
And so we toured around the island. Literally around, because we walked through its perimeter, walking only by the bay because the inside I think was wild forest. We had a real lot of photos taken and I’ll let these pics speak for the fun we had there…
I panicked because we went back to our original spot a little later then 5 o’clock, which is the time to fetch us as told by the boatman. So while waiting, we thought of playing with the sand.
Just before the sun finally slept, we had our way back to Matalom. We got home by seven in the evening, and there I discovered pinches of sand stored in the back pocket of my shorts.
After the sweaty climb to Hanginan, we had to rest for a few minutes. But it’s not a day to be weak, so we then drove straight to our next destination: the Mama Mary Shrine that overlooked the whole city if Maasin.
Like our adventure in the mountains, we were left to climb up ourselves whereas Tita Carly and Tito Jof stayed inside the multicab to get themselves some lunch.
Then, we’re off to go!
There were only about three hundred steps along the very steep stairs but it was much difficult ad so when we reached the top, I could do nothing but catch my breathe and rest my feet. But like always, the wind plus the view never failed to take away the weariness.
It’s also a nice thing for we get to pray a lot that day. As in a lot.
I brought a small rosary at the shop at the bottom of the stairs and then we’re headed to the next climbing destination. We’re tired but there could be no backing out so we just took the set of stairs again up to Monte Cueva.
The next climb was actually like an experience during holy weeks. The stairs were leading up to each station, and knowing that we had to climb up 13 more (‘cause there are 14 in the stations of the cross), I claimed to have given up. But I was revived by the thought of seeing a cave up there and so up we went, stopping at every station to rest and take pictures.
It’s like a cycle, but the peak really always take away all the pain in our legs. I believe we’re up high. but there’s this awesome church situated there, but I never got a picture of it ‘cause my cam couldn’t. It was a huge cave, more like a dome now, and the inside was like a normal church, except that it was extremely cold and dark. My whispers were heard all over the cave ‘cause we’re alone. There were various spots in the ceiling where water continuously drops. It was really a unique chapel.
We rested at the rooftop-like part of the shrine up there and again, I saw the greenery. We were on top of the world again. I even saw the Mama Mary shrine we had climbed earlier that day.
When we finally came back to the cab my Tita asked me if I’m still up for another hike. I refused. Nah, I can’t take it anymore. I had enough, actually, more than enough…
Oh, and did I mention we consumed almost twenty bottled of water for this whole adventure. :)